How to make better habits from poor behaviours
Habits are the cornerstone of our results. Consequently, whether they’re empowering habits creating great results, or disempowering habits creating bad results, they will determine your results and success in life. As you run the majority of your life by habit, it’s essential to ensure you focus on creating better habits. Also, helpful habits will help you do the things you know are important rather than not doing them because you don’t feel like it. Herein lies the first challenge. Because habits are run in the subconscious mind it’s easier to fall back into habitual ways such as grabbing a take-away instead of preparing a healthy meal, especially when you are tired or time-poor. Moreover, it’s often only afterwards, you realise that wasn’t a helpful or intended behaviour. So, how, therefore, can we avoid these poor behaviours and create better habits?
All our life, so far as it has definite form, is a mass of habits.’ William James
Why are habits so powerful and why is it hard to create better habits?
According to scientists, habits emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort. Left to its own devices the brain will try to make almost any routine into a habit. Furthermore, habits allow our minds to ramp down more often, save energy and effort, and create a more efficient brain. When our brains are efficient we don’t have to think constantly about basic behaviours, such as walking or selecting foods. Instead, we can devote mental energy to improving our lives, as we have done; such as engineering buildings, cars and making computers.
I have written extensively on the topic of creating better habits, including the science of habits and keystone habits. This is where it gets interesting. Behind every habit is a reward, a benefit, in the form of a feeling. Psychologists refer to this as “secondary gain.” Moreover, when you can identify the behaviour and work out the feeling you get, the benefit, you can then link the feeling to your desired behaviour.
Recognising your habit and the associated good feeling
Let’s start with recognising the feeling from a good habit first. I am a runner, and on the days I run, I always turn up at my desk feeling energised and inspired to tackle the day. So the feeling I get from running is inspiration. And when I am inspired I am more focused and more creative in finding solutions to challenges. Furthermore, I navigate the ups and downs of the day better and get more done. In conclusion, running is a great behaviour because I enjoy it and because I always feel inspired afterwards.
Consequently, focusing on what you love to do is a great way to become familiar with understanding what drives your behaviours. What activities do you do that makes you feel good? What is the feeling you get? What happens when you feel like this? Are you more productive, focused and effective? What other benefits are there? When you realise the ripple effect, you can start to look at the positive feelings you get from other behaviours and link this feeling to your desired behaviour. Next, we will look at the benefits of unhelpful behaviours.
Look at the benefits of poor behaviours to help create better habits
Take a look at your poor behaviours and write them down. Next, write down what behaviours would you like to do instead that when done consistently will create better habits? Here’s a simple example to help you with yours. Bob gets home from work and instantly goes to the fridge, grabs a beer and a package of chips. He sits down and before he realises, has munched through the whole packet of chips and a couple of beers. He knows this isn’t helping his waistline and he would like to create better habits rather than drinking beer but seems powerless to change this.
When questioned as to the benefit he gets, he says it is to feel relaxed after a hard day’s work. So, the feeling or benefit is relaxed. That is the secondary gain. Not the simple enjoyment of eating the chips and drinking the beer, but ultimately to feel relaxed.
With a bit of digging, he says he would really like to get back into playing the piano, something he did when he was young and a pursuit he loved. However, it is easier to eat the chips and drink a beer (because it’s a habit which is comfortable and familiar and outside his conscious awareness.)
Link the positive feeling or benefit to a new behaviour
Importantly, the key here is to connect how playing the piano will help him be even more relaxed than drinking a beer and eating chips. Obviously you have to get creative, and the more ways you find, the easier to start changing the behaviour.
Let’s look at a few ways of playing the piano will give Bob a feeling of relaxation:
- Playing the piano will be relaxing
- Listening to the sounds of the piano is relaxing
- Focusing on something other than work will take my mind off work and I will feel more relaxed
- Learning a piece of music always takes my mind away from the busy day and allows me to be present. This will relax me
- The more often I play the piano the more relaxed I will feel
- I could attend concerts more often and as an added benefit, get out more and meet new people
One benefit of smoking is to feel connected and fit in peers
I used to help smokers quit smoking. One of the benefits of smoking is to feel connected to people. Many smokers started smoking in their teens and did it because their peers were doing it. Hence they were smoking to fit in with their friends. Let’s say you want to start a new habit of learning to draw instead of smoking. You simply get creative with writing down how many ways will learning to draw help you feel more connected than smoking?
Here are a few:
- I could join an art class and meet people on a regular basis
- Learning art will give me a new topic to talk about when I meet people
- I will look at excursions and tours with groups to art exhibitions
- Visiting galleries and exhibitions will help me meet and connect with new people
- Later on, I could create my own art practice group and people can come to me
Take time to creatively link the benefits to a new behaviour for better habits
The more you think creatively around linking the benefits of the old behaviour to a new behaviour with the intention to create better habits, the easier it is to get going. Furthermore, linking the new behaviour with this feeling will help you feel the positive feeling.
A bit like magic, you are finding new solutions to your problem and are placating your mammalian brain by ensuring you aren’t losing anything. We are hard-wired to hang onto what we have, to keep safe and be comfortable. Furthermore, you are creating new neural pathways and programming your subconscious mind with new instructions. This is the way to create a Mindset for Success. One that consists of better thoughts, behaviours, feelings and better habits.
The more creative you are with linking the benefit, the feeling with a new behaviour, the more reasons you have to get going. When you add in consistency you increase your chances of success and creating better habits. Finally, better habits are the foundation for great results.
Of course, you may need some extra help with creating better habits, as Amanda did. However, she completely transformed her life and habits. Understanding more about how your mind works and how to create healthy habits is a great starting point for your journey of change and chances of success.
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